The four agreements(Don Miguel) ...very powerful and transforming.

       Be impeccable with your word
       Don't take anything personally
       Don't make assumptions
       Do your best

Self awareness

There is a beautiful quote, "The highest form of practice is self awareness without judgement."

When you have acceptance of self, compassion for self, love of self and actively observe your thoughts, feelings and behaviours, you save yourself a lot of suffering. You can reflect on what isn't serving you and adjust your thoughts, feelings and behaviours without 'beating yourself up' or making excuses for yourself as a way to protect yourself.

This is a very peaceful way to live, and I believe, a key to transformation.

With my coaching hat on, shared here are some of the key things I've learned that have contributed profoundly to my quality of life, my peace of mind and my understanding this journey we are on through this thing called life. I am full of gratitude to all who played a part over the last 30 years in bringing this awareness to me, that has also flowed on into support and guidance for my coaching clients. 

Here I have outlined a few of these key things, in no particular order. These subjects are very expansive, so all I can do here is touch on them, and if anything speaks to you you can explore it further elsewhere. I trust you will find some inspiration here...

The Holy Grail is inside you!

People often search outside themselves for answers, not realising that all the wisdom and all the resources they need are inside them, and that the journey needs to be inwards to rediscover these and more easily access and utilise them. Wise teachers, mentors and counsellors know that their role is to help you to journey inward and come up with your own answers.
 
The observer

Keeping a perspective of observing myself and life as if I am watching a movie helps me to not get caught up in the 'drama' of the 'story'. In other words, watch the movie rather than star in it.

The observer is the only aspect of us that is real and permanent. The observer's perspective is also one of attention in the present moment, which to me is an important element within the 'holy grail'. Bliss and peace and joy!

You are not your thinking!

Most people identify with their thinking, and make the mistaken assumption that that is who they are. The reality is that 'you' are having the experience of thinking, and thinking is mostly driven by the ego mind. If you keep an awareness that the ego and your thinking are separate from 'you', they will have far less capacity to impact negatively on your life.

As an experiment, I invite you to observe your thoughts as if they are separate from you (as, indeed, they are) and notice the difference in your experience.

Deconstructing beliefs

We have a barrow load of (mostly unconscious) beliefs that limit us and create obstacles to our peace of mind and achieving what we want. Any time you feel stress, know there is flawed thinking born of limiting beliefs. One of the most pivotal things you can do to enhance peace of mind, well being and improve the results you get in life is to discover what your limiting beliefs are. Once you are aware of them you can question them and clear them.    

The most simple, profound and stunningly effective way to do this (that I have found) is 'The Work' (of Byron Katie). You can check out 'The Inquiry' (the process to deconstruct beliefs) on Katie's website, and on Rosie's website (Australian-based practitioner and workshop facilitator of 'The Work').

Of all the growth I have done over 25 years, all the wonderful tools and techniques, all the wonderful teachers and mentors, 'The Work' is the most simple and effective.

You can apply the process to yourself and get some results, but I have generally found it best to be facilitated.

Another critically important aspect of Byron Katie's work is 'loving what is'. It is our resistance to what is that causes so much of our suffering.

And to round it off, she teaches a great stress buster with a question - 'whose business are you in?' When you're in someone else's business, not only is it stressful, but you're not home in yourself. 

Katie offers some beautiful wisdom about these on her website and in her books and workshops.

Freedom

One of the greatest freedoms is freedom from our own conditioning. This ties in very much with the observer giving attention in the present moment. The moment between stimulus and response is where freedom lies. Victor Frankel wrote of it in his amazing book, 'Man's Search for Meaning'. There is an ever-so-brief moment after stimulus and before response where, if you are paying attention, you can consciously choose your response.

It's not such a common thing. Most people miss the moment, and instead react unconsciously with their own habitual, conditioned mind set. This keeps them trapped in old ways - keeps them in a prison of the past. Innumerable times a day we make choices to be in prison, or in freedom. Be on the look out for those fleeting moments. The more you see them, the more easily and often you will be able to see them, and embrace the opportunity - the freedom - to choose something other than auto-pilot.

Personal responsibility

It is very common for people to give their power away, or to offload responsibility onto other people or situations. The minute you start blaming someone or something, or making excuses, you are avoiding personal responsibility. In one of Robert Kyosaki's books there is a very powerful reality check about excuses - it states that excuses are the lies you tell yourself and that they are coming from the loser in you. It's 'in your face' but it's so true. It's the sort of thing I write up as a notice and stick on the mirror as a reminder. That in itself is a powerful exercise that can create substantial change.

Personal responsibility is something that can transform your life, because it takes you out of disempowered, victim space, and puts you back in the driver's seat, where you belong. In any situation you can ask yourself questions like, 'what am I doing or not doing to contribute to this situation?' and 'how might my attitude and behaviour be influencing the outcome? 

There is plenty more to this, but this is a great start.

Ike (Awareness) The world is what you think it is (represented by white)
Kala (Freedom) There are no limits (red)
Makia (Focus) Energy flows where attention goes (orange)
Manawa (Presence) Now is the moment of power (yellow)
Aloha (Love) To love is to be happy with (green)
Mana (Trust) All power comes from within (blue)
Pono (Wisdom) Effectiveness is the measure of truth (purple)

The seven principles of Huna (principles to live by, according to the Polynesian Spiritual philosophy, and represented by the colours of the rainbow.)

Transparency/authenticity - A couple of wonderful quotes to share here: "Be yourself. There's no-one better qualified." and Joseph Campbell's "The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are." You are unique - how revered is the rare thing! Living with the motto, "to thine own self be true" is truly a doorway to a better life and better relationships - both with yourself and with other people.

Heart consciousness - living with an open heart - heart vs. head.

The best question you could ask in any circumstance... 'What would love do now?'
(This is from Neale Donald-Walsh, 'Conversations with God')

...I will embellish these when I get to it. Please don't wait for me! I encourage you to take them further!

Assorted

There are numerous other things I would like to add here. Until such time as I get to it, I would like to just list them briefly so that you can explore them further if they speak to you...